Live Life (on The Internet)

zombieholmes:

ew but he’s old enough to be your father

you can’t ship them, they’re straight

they’re not even in the same show?

haven’t you already seen this episode 84934 times?

(via watson-jawn-watson)

dutchster:

precumming:

the only people who tell me im cute are old ladies

*pinches your cheeks*

(via heart)

50shadezofcarter:

I text back embarrassingly fast

or three hours later

there is no in between

(Source: 50shadezofcarter, via australiansanta)

lainabeatles:

ruinedchildhood:

Costco doesnt fuck around

What the ever-loving fuck

(via untexting)

howstufftwerks:

noddin’ ma head like yea

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movin’ ma hips like h*ck yea

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(via watson-jawn-watson)

dead-sarah:

I’m watching you like this

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and this

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and maybe even like this

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(via asvprock)

fangirlingemma:

when you pass an exam you expected to fail

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(via australiansanta)

purrprinthom:

sketchinetch:

cremebuns:

emeralddragoness:

cremebuns:

A man just walked past me and said “excuse me, but you look very nice tonight darlin” I said thank you and he said you’re welcome and walked off. And that is how you compliment a woman without harassing them

No, that is still unsolicited, and thus, harassment. No amount of “darlins” is gonna make me not want to punch your ass for coming on to me without provocation.

GOD

SHUT UP

UR SO STUPID

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[x]

the comic is killing me

(Source: cremebun, via watson-jawn-watson)

spongyspice:

that was wild from start to finish

spongyspice:

that was wild from start to finish

(Source: coryinthewhorehouse, via thefaultinourchickennuggets)

spookydeerborn:

candalalala:

elysedc:

The ultimate dad joke compilation

Every time we go past a cemetery my dad pulls the joke “that must be a popular place, people are just dying to get in”. Every time.

whenever i say something about having an ache or pain or hurting myself EVERY SINGLE TIME my dad sais “i went to the doc and said ‘doc, it hurts when i do this.’ and he said ‘well, then, don’t do that!’” AND EVERY SINGLE TIME HE GETS THAT SPARKLE IN HIS EYE

(via dont-feel-like-sherlock)

umplify:

Stressed, depressed and too poor to be well dressed

(Source: umplify, via colour-bucket)

moraniarty:

the tumblr video player

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(via untexting)

mothlikestars:

I’ve just cried laughing at the comments on a Jamie Oliver recipe, there was a typo on the website and everyone put 13 lemons into a pasta sauce and didn’t even question it. Imagine eating 13 lemons, the recipe was for 4 people, imagine having that much trust in Jamie Oliver.

(via colour-bucket)

gorgeousdarren:

when you forget capslock is on and google something really aggressively by accident

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(via australiansanta)